Rural Dreams

Who Misses Us?

AIDAN: What you doing Mama?
ME: Petting Lady.
AIDAN: Why Mama?
ME: Because She needed some attention, she misses Gran and Opa.
AIDAN: Why Mama?
ME: Because they're her people and she loves them.
AIDAN: Why? Why? WHY?
ME: Who misses us?
AIDAN: Wes
ME: And who else?
AIDAN: Papa
ME: That's right, Papa misses us very much.
AIDAN: And my skateboard... misses me. And my blue bike misses me too.

TEXAS: Day 11

I am a Movable Type junkie. I love using MT - it is allowing me to make useful websites without learning how to do backend databases. I'm in the middle of doing one for Nassau/Queens Drum and Dance and when I'm done, I'm going to do one for my brother-in-law, Jim. The Nassau/Queens one is a very complex set of three blogs that I hope to use includes or PHP to connect - which I've never done before, so it's exciting to try something new. When I'm done, Rip should be able to maintain the site without my help. Jim's is just a straight up weblog and I'll just implement his design - but its fun for me anyway. I really should be working on the Tarot site. And I've been promising my step-father a house construction blog too.

My cousin Liz visited this weekend and as I suggested, brought her puppy, Emily, a 7 month old Shepard mix. Well, it was a long day of dog management and though I enjoyed Liz and her boyfriend, Matt, I think that we were all exhausted by the end of the day. I was most worried about my mom's biggest dog, Lady, who is a Rottie, Shepard mix. She is like a bear. It turned out that the little dogs were the biggest problem. Fawn, the puppy, just hid the whole time, but Lil' Bit snarled and barked at Emily incessantly. I tried putting Lil' Bit in my mom's bedroom, but she wouldn't stop barking. At some point I took Aidan into our room to nurse him to sleep and brought the little dogs in with me. Lady and Emily, it turns out, were playing together really nicely outside. When I came out of the bedroom, Lil' Bit came too and started in barking at Emily as soon as she saw her. At this point, Lady had bonded with Emily and was actually disciplining Lil' Bit for being so incorrigible. Lil' Bit was not responding to Lady and Lady got more and more agressive until she out and out attacked Lil' Bit. Fortunately, I was right there when it happened and was able to whisk Lil' Bit away. The whole thing was so upsetting. I had this picture in my head of Lady as this gentle giant which is shot to hell. The other thing is that it seems to have changed Lil' Bit's place among the three dogs. Even though Fawn wasn't involved or even around when it happened, she has been lording over Lil' Bit ever since. They have been playing roughly ever since we got here, but now Lil' Bit just doesn't want to fight back and she seems to have been demoted to bottom dog. It's kind of sad and pathetic.

Other than that it was nice to see Liz and Matt and I sure appreciate them making the 2+ hour trip out here to see us. It certainly broke up the solitude of this place - I now have 4 straight days alone til Mom gets home which is turning out to be the longest stretch that I'll be alone - so all in all, that's not so bad. I've been having these crazy ideas about going to Katy where I grew up. I spent a lot of time studying the map today. It just doesn't seem to make any sense right now though. It's 3-4 hours away and what am I going to do when I get there except drive around the old neighborhoods. I can't think of a single public space I could bring Aidan to except the mall.

Excitement

Last night we went out to eat in Waco and when we got home, it was 80 degrees in the house. After fiddling with the thermostat controls, we concluded that the air conditioner was broken. We turned it off.

I live without air conditining at home and I don't mind it at all, but here I found it absolutely terrifying. Tyson joked that he was going to head home right then and there. I ripped the palstic insulation off our bedroom window and taped over the holes in the screen. It was, in fact, cooler outside.

We paced around, every once in a while saying outloud how hot it was. Then Tyson had an idea to turn it on again and maybe it would work. A desperate effort, I thought, but it worked. It's amazing the things we take for granted. I am so grateful for that air conditioner.

I saw the headline of an article recently about how the invention of air conditioning had changed the world. I didn't actually get to read the article, but it spurned a conversation between a few people. Someone mentioned that the southern United States wouldn't be populated the way that it is without air conditioning. People wouldn't retire to Arizona and Florida.

Today, I found two mice in the half dozen traps that are set around the house. Every time I see a dead mouse like that, horror movie music plays in my head. Poor mice. At the same time, I don't want them in the house. I was finally able to answer Tyson's question: why did Mom leave a box of disposable rubber gloves? Of course Tyson wouldn't have anything to do with them so I had to remove them. He insisted that I shoudn't have to do that. What should I do - call a neighbor? let them rot?

I read Tyson's screenplay today. It is awesome and slightly autobiographical so that I had a knot in my stomach the whole time. When you see it, you'll know what I am talking about. It's called The Red Room.

My Cutie Pie

Tyson took these pics a few weeks ago when he visited us in New York.

The Scene

Here's the scene yesterday: Aidan is standing on a stepstool, washing dishes, trying out the impressive variety of scrubbing implements in my mom's kitchen sink. I am at the kitchen table, sewing brightly colored triangles into quilt blocks that I am so happy with while Tyson reads aloud to me a quiz from Disinformation.com. It was a nice day. Aidan's sickness left as quickly as it came, and Steve might have found a mortgage for us where we can put 10% down instead of 20%, which just might mean that we don't have to live on Jiffy peanut butter for the next year.

TEXAS: Day 3

We managed to not turn the TV on all until today. Aidan woke up from his nap with a little fever and we read books for a little while, but when he came to me with a Toy Story DVD in hand, I relented. There were 4 straight hours of children's programming on PBS between 5 and 9pm (I couldn't figure out the DVD player). What's up with that? I'm talkin' Teletubbies. Why do little kids need 4 hours of programming at dinner time? Aidan gave up after an hour to my amazement and had some toast and cereal and then we read some more and he went back to sleep.

Here's a weird thing: Tyson got here tonight and I've really been looking forward to him coming because everytime he's seen Aidan since Christmastime, Aidan has been sick. So when Aidan woke up sick today I couldn't believe it. Aidan fell asleep just before Tyson pulled up and has been either asleep or crying to be nursed back to sleep ever since.

It is such a relief to have Tyson here. He got out of the car griping about what a freaky place Texas is and I was just filled with love for him. I don't know how it is that we get along together so well - we are both so different from our parents and still so much like each other. Our sensibilities that is. Not our lifestyles.

TEXAS: Day 1

It's pretty intense that I am spending three straight weeks here. I am not a fan of Texas in spite of the brianwashing attempt of that seventh grade required Texas History class. My niece, Sophia, had to write a paper for school recently: every kid was assigned a state and they had to write something convincing Prince William to buy a summer home in that state. This assignment is weird to me on so many levels but I won't get into that right now. Sophia was assigned Texas and called me up and asked me why Prince William should buy a summer home here. Because it's so hot in the summer that he could cook pancakes in the morning on the hood of his limousine? Because there are lots of artificial lakes that are actually dammed up rivers? Because everything's big in Texas? James Avery Jewelry? Tons of Wal-Marts? Because of Tula, Texas? Because of all the executions? Dear Sophia, do you think you could write something satirical?

I am actually here dog sitting for my mom. She and her husband have just left for a two week vacation in an RV. They went to a wedding outside of Dallas today, then they are going to Yosemite and then they are going to improvise. They were so cute leaving this morning with their matching cowboy style hiking/ touring hats. I hope they have a great time. They have 3 dogs, Lady, a big German Shepard Rottie mix, Lil' Bit, a Rat Terrier, and their newest dog, Fawn, a five month old mutt. Fawn is little and yellow with a long body, pointy ears, and short legs. She and Aidan are terrific companions, chasing each other all over. Even though she is small, she sometimes knocks him over and covers him with kisses. He can't seem to get away from her when she does this and it is absolutely adorable. In the meanwhile, I am told that our dog Wes, misses us.

Their house is a very nice double wide trailer home. It's easy to make fun of trailer homes if you are not part of a culture that lives in them, but this house is nicer than anyplace I have lived in my adult life. It is 45 miles away from Waco and the only towns closer are so tiny that Wal-Mart hasn't even bothered with them. It is VERY close to George W. Bush's house in Crawford. As we passed the intersection that goes to Crawford on the way here, my mom mentioned that you always see the Secret Service agents in front of the Subway (sandwhich shop) there. About 30 seconds later I blurted out, " I fucking hate George Bush". Ever since I have felt a little paranoid that I was heard by the people who listen for such things and that I am now under surveilance.

I am hoping to get a lot done this week including making a quilt top or two, visiting Christiane who had a baby boy yesterday(!), visiting my beloved friend Summer, and finishing up a couple of websites. My brother is even telling me that he is going to come here this week from LA. Otherwise, the thought of all of this time here out in the middle of nowhere in a state that gives me the absolute willies might be a little depressing. I am hoping to make the most of it.

Boy's awake...

Leaving in a Car, and Then a Jet Plane

Aidan and I are leaving this evening to go to Texas for three weeks. We are driving to Long Island tonight and then flying out of LaGuardia tomorrow. This has Aidan confused. He says he wants to go to Texas on his plane. I try to explain that we are leaving today and getting on the plane tomorrow. He gets upset.

I went to run some errands alone the other night and realized that I spent most of the drive thinking about things that I wanted to blog about. So I think that I will be writing more often now. I have been seriously considering making a more private blog though. There are some things that I don't feel comfortable writing about with moms and friends reading and all. At first I thought that I would take it as a writing challenge - to come up with things that were interesting but not too personal or damaging. The thing is that I don't need a writing challenge - I think that just writing itself is enough of a challenge for me. So eventually this will split into two blogs - one that is just like a log of our lives for family and friends and then another that is more no holds barred.

When I was in the Goodwill store that night, I heard something interesting on the radio. It went something like this:

This is Reverend Soandso from the First Prespryterian Church of Hudson. One of the radical teachings of Christianity is to love our enemy.

My ears perk up at the word "radical".

St Paul says "Love your enemy. If he is hungry, feed him. If he is naked, clothe him." Doing this on a personal level requires patience and strength. Doing this on a worldwide political level requires unwavering faith.

Made me want to run out and go to church.

I have finally set up my laptop in preparation for my trip. I have had it for almost a year and have hardly used it. It is just so hard to be fussing with computers with a toddler. It didn't help that when I first got it we watched DVDs on it and Aidan thought it was his movie watching toy, so I had to basicly shelve it til he got over that. I am really relieved to have it all set up though because I think that my older computer is slowly dying. The sound hasn't worked on it for some time. Plugging my printer into the serial port makes the whole thing freeze up. It often freezes on the startup - sometimes over and over again to the point that I wonder if it will ever start up again. So I am preparing myself for its death. It has died before, but it might have a do not recussitate order this time.

The Morning After

The party went really well - no rain at all and the food went smoothly. The thing is though, about half of the people that we expected actually came. Many of my friends have really messy lives - and some of the other people are just not close friends - and the all had good reasons for not coming, I am sure. It just makes me feel really lonely - like when I got married and none of my friends could pull it together to be bridesmaids and I had to ask my sister-in-law who I hardly knew. We had twice as much food, drinks and tent as we needed.

We had a wonderful fire out behind the barn and we kept it going 2 nights. The bounce house was amazing and worth every penny. It was like a big box that you put kids in. They were literally hanging from the sides. I hope someone got a picture of that. Aidan was scared of it and would only go into it the night before the party with Steve for a few minutes. He's scared of a lot of things lately - or else he is just more articulate and couldn't tell me that things were scary before. The pinata was great fun although Aidan startd crying at first - I think that mostly it was over-stimulation. I held him and explained that the toys were going to come out of it when it broke and he got a huge smile on his face and gave it a couple of whacks.

Steve's drumming friends mostly all came and that was just amazing. I was really worried about the noise reverberating down the hill and scaring the livestock and such, but it wasn't that loud and I don't think it bothered anyone. It sounded wonderful and they are talking about coming up again and having a gathering of just the drummers.

We have an accepted offer on this house we want as of Saturday. I'll post a picture soon. I can't believe it is finally happening. As soon as I'm done here I'll be spending the rest of the day in mortgage and real estate land. It's exhausting and already I'll be really glad when its over.