April 24, 2003
Ch- Ch- Ch- Ch- Changes
My uncle recently asked me if my life was exciting. It's plenty exciting, thank you very much.
We've made a decision that seems very strange, but feels like the right thing to do for us. We are going to move in with Steve's mom on Long Island for two months. He's been going down there every other weekend for the past year to renovate her kitchen and build a deck and it's still not done. It's been something that's prevented us from delving into relationships up here more deeply, so we are going to take this opportunity to go down there and finish this project and liberate ourselves. It just so happens that Steve's mom is going to rent a house in Montauk July 3-20th, so we will take full advantage and just extend our stay with her through July.
I told Aidan that we were going to go and live with Grandma for a little while yesterday morning when he woke up. I was sure that he would be thrilled - he loves Grandma's house, but he started to cry and I felt awful. We've been telling him that we were buying this house and I guess it's all overwhelming for him. Maybe he was just tired.
I've been telling everyone that we know to look out for houses for us to rent, and my friend Sue might have one. She knows someone who has a house that got wrecked by his ex wife after they separated and its been vacant since she left (I don't know when). It's in the country and she doesn't think he'd mind the dog. It's a manufactured home - the size of a double wide trailer home, and it's not too old - probably 5-10 years old. It's basicly the same house that Sue has, which means it has 2 bedrooms, 2 living rooms, 2 bathrooms, an office, a laundry room, and a kitchen with a dining area. I think I could be very happy with that for the next two years - especially if it's in the country and we could have chickens and a garden - I think that's really all I want in the world right now! Aidan kept asking if the Easter eggs had chicks in them, and almost cried when Steve said no. I think he wants chickens too.
Once I had all of the above sort of settled in my head, our realtor called last night. The seller's daughter had called her office and spoken to her partner about re-listing the property. She had the idea that if she re-listed it, she could offer the sellers a commission cut in half if they would continue with our deal. She called me to see if she should make this offer to them, I of course said yes, with a lot of hope because these people are cheap - I thought that they really might be motivated by a bargain. So I went out to the grocery store and started renovating the house and the land again in my mind. By the time I got home, the realtor had called back - she told Steve that some people just don't want to be helped.
Then I just read a comment that CM left me on the Weeping Willows post:
I had a dream last night that you bought the house and it had all sorts of terrible problems. You were eaten alive by the mortgage and the repairs, and it affected your relationships with one another as a family. And then it burned down. You told me not to buy a house and that you wished you had bought land and built your own house instead. I awakened thinking that the dream meant that I was supposed to forget buying a house and instead pursue my original goal of communal living.And now I have come to read this... and I wonder, what did my dream mean?
Heh, maybe we're both supposed to pursue communal living. I've been meeting some really wonderful people up here - and bouncing the idea off of some of them. I usually have the words low-income built into it, because co-housing is what I really want, and co-housing communities tend to be expensive. There is such a need everywhere for low-income housing, and I've been thinking that maybe there are grants and such available for it. I know that it is largely devoted to urban low-income housing, so I don't know how a rural plan might qualify for money, but it is something that I keep in my consciousness, and bring up sort of carefully with people I trust. I feel like I am telling people a precious secret when I talk about it, and most people's initial reaction is pretty negative.
April 22, 2003
Easter
We had a lovely Easter at my Mother in Law's house. Steve pulled out his mom's early 1960's McCall's cookbook to make french toast for breakfast. It is an incredible book, with no cover and fabulous 60's illustrations throughout. His french toast was delicious and we had the idea, while leafing through it, to make rolls for Easter dinner. I've never made bread and I've been wanting to for a long time, and it was a success.
Funny Aidan story: He walked into the kitchen with a fresh booger on his finger. I grabbed a tissue and wisked it away and he burst into tears. "I WANT TO EAT MY BOOGER... I ... want ... to eat ... my ... booger ..." and on and on. Steve and his mom came rushing in to see if he was okay because it sounded like he was hurt. I tried to get him to tell them why he was upset, but I couldn't get him to say it to them. I told them and grandma assured him that there would be other boogers.
April 18, 2003
Weeping Willows
The Willow trees are the first ones getting their leaves. They are like chartruse oasises among the brown leafless parts of the landscape - not just for their color, but they also generally indicate wet areas. They thrive near ponds, streams, boggy areas and underground water. They are treacherous to septic systems because their powerful root systems seek out the water of the septic field and clog it up. They are extremely fast growers, and you can make a rooting hormone by soaking their twigs in water. Their life force is formidable. It is ironic that they are a symbol of sadness and death. Maybe they are a comforting image of the power of life.
And on that note, I will say it: we did not get our mortgage.
April 17, 2003
Fellow Bloggers
I got an IM from a stranger who says that I inspired her to blog! Amazing! Check her out here. She lives in New Jersey and has rural dreams of Ithaca, NY.
I recently added Dervala to my links. Her blog is about her world travels and her writing is so gorgeous that I've never wished that she had photographs. A taste about Ecuador:
Ecuador is just the right size for a country. You can get from the beach to the Andes, or from the Andes to the Amazon, in a few hours. This seems very sensible. I dealt with the ridiculous scale of the US by refusing to leave the tri-state area, but this left me with monotonous scenery. Ecuador may be compact in length and breadth, but it has the most ambitious landscape I've ever seen. It's as though every other mountain valley I've seen is the smallest Russian doll in a series that keeps unfolding up and up.I have no desire to conquer the high peaks here--I'm very submissive when it comes to mountains--but to walk and sleep in the Andes for days at a time has been the most humbling and uplifting experience of this trip. In the Himalayas, Dervla Murphy observes, the peaks are for mountaineers only; lowly walkers go through passes. In the Andes, though, hiking paths go right over the peaks, and as you gasp out the carbon dioxide that has collected in your wobbly legs, you look down and feel like a gnat on an elephant. Last week I saw a condor swoop not far overhead. What a world.
April 16, 2003
Quilt Blog
These rotary cutters are for the quilt blog. Corny? Cool? I was going to just call it "Quilt Blog" but how lazy is that? I hate writing copy - any suggestions are welcome.
v.1
v.2
April 12, 2003
Information Superhighway
The internet is such a big part of my life, I am a little embarrased to admit it to people in real life sometimes. Here's two little internet things about finding information.
Last night I was trying to format a really simple webpage for my sister in law. I needed to know how to center a <div> tag with style sheets. I've never been able to figure this out and its such a basic thing that I need all the time. My ©1999 O'Reilly Webmaster in a Nutshell doesn't say. It is outdated in so many ways. My god its as old as Aidan, absolutely ancient! I generally beleve that you can find any of this information on the web anyway, but I have also never seen it on style sheet tutorials on the web. Dollar Short has a centered format and I know Mena designs with style sheets so I spent a lot of time studying her And, for intermediate users (you've been using stylesheets for awhile, maybe just to handle typography), I'd recommend also getting Eric Meyer's "Cascading Style Sheets: The Definitive Guide" for a more in-depth study of the CSS specs, though you can make it through most of the concepts presented here with just the information given with a little extra mental effort and perseverance.
makes me think that maybe I want his other book so I check it out. It's an O'Reily book like my nutshell one and probably just a reference, which is really what I need - but is it absolutely cutting edge current? I went to the reviews and find this little gem. The first thing I tried to do with style sheets was to convert some of my web pages to strict HTML by changing my <div align="center"> tags to CSS. According to page 88, the way to do that is with the style "text-align: center;". Of course, this style doesn't center tables, only the text within the table cells. With considerably more digging, I found that "margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" was the way to center a table. Unfortunately, that style doesn't center headings or images. I finally was able to find a combination of both styles that simulate <div align="center">, but I found it only through trial-and-error, not through insight gained from this book. This book needs a chapter on CSS style equivalents to HTML style tags, in more detail than the "CSS in Action" chapter.
I was right, you can find everything on the internet, if you look long enough. I didn't buy the book, and interestingly, this review is not on the first book page anymore. You have to click on "read all customer reviews" to find it - but it does have a customer rating about how helpful it is: 41 of 46 people, which is considerably more than any other review there.
The other thing that I want to relate is about the power of blogs in terms of information access. This information is all over the technology blogs and sites, but since most folks who read this are not tech people, I thought I'd share it here. Google is by far the world's most popular search engine. It works so well because the folks at Google developed a system of ranking based on popularity. The more other sites link to a page, the higher its search engine rank. Folks are saying that blogs rule Google because they are so prolific and they are heavy linkers. My point is that your blog is powerful because of your links. They up the search engine ranking of what you link to. So link away to Indymedia and ANSWER and Yo Mama. Don't link when you don't want to raise popularity. This isn't always going to work with the kind of information you are presenting - for instance, just above I have linked to Amazon because it illustrates my story. And if you want to link to an illustration of media bias or the like, it makes more sense to just include the link than not. I am more suggesting that if you are just telling a story that involves The Gap, let's say, maybe don't link to their site, or if you want to link, do one like this.
April 08, 2003
Library
I ran out to the library last night, leaving Steve napping upstairs and Aidan watching a video. I told Aidan to go upstairs and climb into bed with pop when the movie was over. He said that he wasn't tired and that he didn't want to, but I thought that he would anyway since he hadn't had a nap. I had woken up Steve to tell him that I was going.
When I got back about an hour later, Aidan was standing on a chair at the kitchen counter. The first thing he said was that he couldn't get the cookies back in the basket, there is a hanging basket there that had a package of cookies in it. When I got a little closer I realized that he had the flour container open. Aidan and the counter and the floor were covered in flour.
"I tried to make a cake."
(pause)
"It didn't work out."
It was really cute. Steve was still asleep.
I got a few (grownup) books from the library. The very serious ones are Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace - How We Got To Be So Hated by Gore Vidal and Wealth and Democracy - A Political History of the American Rich by Kevin Philips. I am halfway through the Gore Vidal one and it is excellent. And then I got a couple of books that don't make me want to move to another country. Morning Glories and Moonflowers which I got because those are plants that I have grown from seed for several years now. I specifically want to know why they don't bloom until its practically fall. It turns out the book is about all kinds of climbing plants and doesn't address my question at all. I had to get a gardening book though because it was snowing last night. The other one is called Incredible Quilts for Kids of all Ages. It has some paper piecing blocks of kids that might work for Aidan's "boys with balls" quilt.
April 07, 2003
Peace, Baba
We went to Long Island this weekend so that we could attend a day long benefit for Baba Olatunji, who needed a portable dialysis machine. I got this e-mail this morning:
Subject: Babatunde Olatunji
Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2003 11:43:30 -0700
Greetings, It is with a heavy heart to let you know that Babatunde Olatunji has passed away just a few hours ago in his room at Esalen with his family by his side. Let us sing and drum for him in his journey to the next world. With our thoughts and prayers he will find a safe passage and he will come to a place of peace and joy. It was one year ago today that he had his 75th birthday party that so many of you were able to attend. I remember the joy in his face that morning when I went to pick him up to take him to his party. His cheeks even had a rosy glow! He was so happy and excited. He was like a little boy..........I am that I am, I am beauty, I am peace, I am joy, I am one with Mother Earth. I am one with everyone within the reach of my voice. In this togetherness, we ask the divine intelligence to irradicate all negatives from our hearts, from our minds and from our actions. And so be it....ashe. We love you Baba! Thank you for the joy and happiness that you have brought to the world through your music, your words and your actions. With peace, happiness and joy, Jennifer Nori Ahlgrim We Say Love
April 05, 2003
Lemons and Horseradish
I drove by our prospective house on Friday after Aidan's playgroup which is only a few houses away. What was a little ribbon of standing water on the property now encompasses the entire property except a rise where the house and barn are. It's a full half acre at least of a couple of inches of water.
Lucky for me, one of my friends was an environmental engineer before she had her son. I called her to ask what could be done. I was thinking along the lines of, if you have lemons, make lemonade: we could channel it into a little rock lined stream, or dig a pond and use the excavated earth to bring up the rest of the property. However, it may be considered a Federal Wetland in which case we couldn't do anything and it would be like having really seedy lemons, or the kind that are so hard you can't get any reasonable amount of juice out of them. She has a former co-worker who would know just what kinds of lemons we have by looking at the plants that are growing there and who happens to drive by it on her way to work every day.
The sellers mentioned to us once that there was horseradish growing wild there and I am encouraged by this information about growing horseradish: It grows best in a deep, fertile soil that is reasonably well drained (clay is not a good soil for horseradish) and in the full sun. Another site warns that it is invasive, that once it is established, you can't really get rid of it. So maybe once there was a garden there, and the standing water is not normal, but the result of a remarkably wet winter.
We have to have the morgage commitment for this house by April 20th, so by then I'll really know if we're buyng it or not.
April 03, 2003
Wet
On weather.com today there is a ticker running across the screen that says "hydrologic statement". I thought that sounded very strange - what is it? It's a listing of local rivers, how high the water is in them, and what happens at certain heights. For example:
THE HOUSATONIC RIVER AT GREAT BARRINGTON WAS 4.9 FEET AT 2 AM THURSDAY. AT 5 FEET...WATER STARTS TO FLOOD FIELDS BETWEEN GREAT BARRINGTON AND ASHLEY FALLS.
I am seeing flooded fields all over, some people have little ponds among the trees in their front yards. I went to look at the house we are trying to buy to see how the land was there. The house is up on a little swell, but much of the property (about an acre) dipped down a little bit lower. The current owners let it grow up wild and I feared it might all be wet. As of a couple of weeks ago, it wasn't too bad - there was a narrow strip running down the middle with standing water and the rest was muddy, but not wet like a lot of the land I've seen.
When you drive around here, it seems like there is so much land, so much space, but I've slowly come to realize all of the ways land can be unsuitable for building - and right now, there are many big open flat spaces that are filled with water.
April 02, 2003
A Horse Of A Different Color
My friend, Sue, sent this tribute after the passing of one of her beloved horses. She gave me permission to publish it here.
We lost our family member Tank the horse this morning. He was 14 and I had him for 10 years. He got colic and we had to put him down. Colic can be caused from bacteria. We think he drank the water from the rain that collected in the field and there was bacteria in the water that his system could not handle.He was given to me years ago after talking to a woman in a bar and me telling her how much I loved horses. When we went out to pick him up he was standing at the top of a large field and when he saw me, he whinnied and galloped in. I stood there with tears coming down my face thinking I hope this is the horse you are giving me, he was. What girl does not dream of a horse who gallops in to see her?
The woman who gave him to me gave me the reason that she did not like his color for giving him up, he was a red roan. Well if you did not like his color then all you had to do was wait for the seasons to change. In Winter he was a medium red, in Spring the sun beat down and bleached his coat white while his head stayed red, his legs were black and he had a white star, we called this his "stupid
phase" because it was very funny looking. In summer, his white funny coat would shed and he became a dark lustrous deeper bay.He was a funny horse who liked mischief. He would suck his tongue when you gave him anything sweet and his eyes would roll back in head like he was drunk from the sugar. He liked to escape the confines of his field and go exploring. Once he went next door and unlike other horses who would simply look for food, Tank would look for trouble. He went into the neighbor's barn and squeezed all the grease out of grease guns. Then he took all the items that were hung up on the walls, blankets, garden tools and mushed it all together, the old farmer who lived there said he never saw a horse do anything like it.
Another time he escaped out of his pasture and went into a smaller pasture to be with another horse, he then had her escape and they went to Stotville. The mare he escaped with was pregnant and I think he thought they were eloping.
He liked to chew on anything that was left near or in his field, and once he ate the bicycle seat off our friend's bike. Another time I had warned the farmer who was mowing the field to take his tractor out of the field when he was through mowing. Well he did not heed the warning and Tank pulled the spark plugs out of it and ate the seat off too. Wayne's old Ford Festiva had many "track marks" from Tank eating the paint off of it.
He leaves behind King who was his best buddy. We used to call them the two gay geldings because the two of them bonded when they met and have been inseparable since. Anyone who has lost a pet knows how devastating this is. I am just beside myself with grief and thinking what if. We will miss him terribly and be enjoying King for the remaining years he has left.
April 01, 2003
A Rare Picture
Compliments of Jes, who we went to the museum with on Sunday and took this sweet picture in the cafeteria.
Baby Quilt
April Fools
In conversations about winter and when it will end, I often relate that I lived in Chicago for two years where I was intimidated by that city's reputation for harsh winters. Both years that I was there, after a little tease of springtime weather, it snowed on April Fools day.
Here I am in upstate NY on April Fools Day and guess what the weather's doing...